MONSTER MOVIE RANTS

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THE ANGRY BITCHING OF A GRUMPY OLD HORROR MOVIE FAN

**RANT ARCHIVES**

-WARNING-
If you are humorless, sensitive or politically correct this section is not for you!!
September 12th

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May 8th

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May 7th
The combination of enthusiasm and lack of talent is responsible for a lot of bad Horror movies.

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May 5th

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May 2nd

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May 1st

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April 29th

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April 24th

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April 23rd

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April 17th
AMC Entertainment CEO, Adam Aron is a fucking idiot but The Alamo DraftHouse RULES!!!

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April 16th

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April 12th

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April 10th

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April 9th

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April 2nd
I really feel like the marketing campaign for The VVitch has been intentionally misleading, in particular this new re-release trailer.

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March 27th

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March 26th

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March 13th
Warning signs that a movie is going to suck:
It stars Dean Cain.

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March 6th

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March 5th
Yeah, thanks for the support, Marty! I've really enjoyed all of your Horror films.
Fucking Dick!!

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March 2nd
Ladies & Gentlemen, may I present to you, the star of stage & screen, a man who's currently working just to keep his SAG benefits active, the mostly awful, Mr. Eric Roberts!

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February 28th
If you're super excited about this upcoming Horror-Con-Movie from hack Writer/Director Harrison Smith, please uninstall this app, it's not meant for you.

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February 27th
There is nothing more nauseating than witnessing the cast & crew of a terrible movie kissing each others asses in celebration of a job well done. If everyone was so "talented & wonderful to work with" then why does your film suck big, hairy donkey balls?

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February 24th
That moment when your wife rushes into the room all excited about Rick & Michonne hooking up and it becomes even clearer that you made the right decision when you stopped watching the show.

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February 19th
Warning signs that a movie is going to suck:
They can't even make the trailer look good.

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February 17th

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February 14th
Dear God No! on Blu-ray?!? 
Well, that means that it will be 600p shittier than the shitty 480p DVD version!!!

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February 10th
It's always been a mystery to me why anyone would care about John Waters' opinion. His movies fucking suck!

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February 7th
History has proven that it's impossible for any one promoter to put on more than one really great Horror Convention per year. If two are attempted, one will be significantly better than the other (typically the original location). Crank out more than two and eventually they will all suck!

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February 6th

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February 4th
I think it's cool that they did an homage to the shitty episodes of the original series.

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January 31st
Crap-tastic film making tip:
End your film with a still frame of the cast celebrating & smiling at each other.

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January 30th
I love this guy!!

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January 24th
Crap-tastic film making tip:
Body builders ... lots of body builders!

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January 23rd

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January 22nd
Well, yeah! He's on the new Teen Wolf series, right???

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January 19th

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January 18th
Warning signs that a movie is going to suck:
It has no IMDB page.

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January 17th

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January 16th
She had to eat A LOT of children to get an ass & thighs that fucking fat!!

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January 13th

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January 9th
HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA....
WHAT?!?!?

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January 8th

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January 6th

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January 2nd
Imagine if all of the films with soundtracks that ripoff John Carpenter's 'Halloween' just disappeared. The landscape of the Horror genre would look a lot more barren, I assure you.

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January 1st
Yeah, he stole the script from Sergio Corbucci not the Colvin's. So leave him alone!

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December 27th

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December 23rd

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**RANT ARCHIVES**